Twilight calls and txts
by Kumi Akatmatsu Moonstone
Summary: The twilight characters recieve messages frm each other R&R!
1. Chapter 1

Call back ASAP

Midnightmoon: ok you guys I've got a new twilight fanfic I'm posting. Ok so the cullens, the wolves, bella's friends&fam,the bad vamps and the voultry(sp?) are all good friends now and they keep leaving each other strange phone messages and texts. Reda and review!

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**Edward's machine**

_Hello you've reached edward cullen here, I'm probably not home right now......if this is Bella i have no idea what a 'good time' means and i don't want to know. If this is James i did not sleep with Victoria! If this is Victoria i dont want to come to your house ok. Anyone else please leave your name number and a message and ill get back to you soon._

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**Messages**

**Message #1**

Edward sweetie its bells, a good time means that we play video games at your place give me a call back ok? I LOVE YOU SOOOOOO MUCH!!!!!!

**Message #2**

_it's me Alice, have you seen my pet poodle Fluffy? I can't find her anywhere........did Jasper eat her? Call back ASAP_

**Message #3**

**this is James.......I believe you for now Cullen just don't get it twisted.......thanks for the birthday card.**

**Message #4**

**It's Midnightmoon, do you have any idea where i can find some tasty human body parts anywhere? I'm getting really hungry and...(to little sis in backround) DON'T PUT THAT IN YOUR MOUTH YOU IDIOT!) sorry anyway call me back when you can Thanks!**

**Message #5**

**It's Jasper here i didn't eat Alice's poodle.......that was Emmett!!!!!! ****It's Jasper here i didn't eat Alice's poodle.......that was Emmett!!!!!! **

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**Texts**

**text #1**

It's Vicky here, srry about trying 2 get u in my house.....dat made james really :( so txt me bk l8ter!

**text #2**

**AGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!**

**text #3**

_It's MM again.......txt me bk l8ter!!!!!!_

_**____________________________________________________________________**_Midnightmoon: Read&Review!


	2. Emmett

Twilight calls and txts

Midnightmoon: Ok so this story is doing good 2 I just thought of another story called Twilight Wrestling Match. Look out 4 dat 1 k.

Emmett's Machine

Hello this is Emmett Cullen the smartest, handsomest, and strongest man who ever lived. If you want an autograph please leave a message. Peace Out homies!

Message #1:

EMMETT!!!!!!!!!! WHERE THE –BLEEP- IS MY MAKEUP KIT!!!!!!! YOU'D BETTER TELL ME WHERE IT IS OR SO HELP ME….BLEEP.

Message #2:

Hey Emmett it's me Sarah you know that cute little blonde girl you met in the mall last week. Give me call back you handsome devil.

Message #3:

Hello this is the animal hospital and we understand that you have a dying animal in your custody. Please call back whenever you can.

Message #4:

Yo listen up here's a story  
About a little guy that lives in a blue world  
And all day and all night and everything he sees  
Is just blue like him inside and outside  
Blue his house with a blue little window  
And a blue corvette  
And everything is blue for him and hisself  
And everybody around  
Cos he ain't got nobody to listen to

I'm blue da ba dee da ba die...

I have a blue house with a blue window.  
Blue is the colour of all that I wear.  
Blue are the streets and all the trees are too.  
I have a girlfriend and she is so blue.  
Blue are the people here that walk around,  
Blue like my corvette, it's standing outside.  
Blue are the words I say and what I think.  
Blue are the feelings that live inside me.

I'm blue da ba dee da ba die...

I have a blue house with a blue window.  
Blue is the colour of all that I wear.  
Blue are the streets and all the trees are too.  
I have a girlfriend and she is so blue.  
Blue are the people here that walk around,  
Blue like my corvette, it's standing outside.  
Blue are the words I say and what I think.  
Blue are the feelings that live inside me.

I'm blue da ba dee da ba die...

Inside and outside blue his house  
With the blue little window and a blue corvette  
And everything is blue for him and hisself  
And everybody around cause he ain't got  
Nobody to listen to

I'm blue da ba dee da ba die...

I'm blue (if I was green I would die)

Message #5:

Sup this is Midnightmoon do you have any erogjeaprsji'idyge [p!!!!

Texts

Txt#1

Hl;df


	3. charslie

Twilight calls & txts

Kumi: yeah i changed my screen name sue me. My lil bro Zeru is going 2 help me with this chapt. Bro disclaimer

Zeru:Kumi Akatamatsu Moonstone doesn't own twilight

Both:R&R

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Charslie

Hello, you have reached at 651-bloodsuckerandwifestealer-005, I am sorry that i can not answer your call right now so if you would like to set up an appointment please leave a message. Thank you and have a blood free day. Beep

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Message #1:

Hey Charslie this is Bells, ummmmm is there something wrong with edward? (puts phone on speaker and 'Edward is heard in backround) Edward: CAUSE THIS IS THRILLER!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THRILLER NIGHT!!!!!!!! AND NO ONE'S GONNA SAVE YOU FROM THE BEAST ABOUT TO STRIKE!!!!!!!!!!!!!. Ok so give me a call back ok thanks -to edward- Shut up!!!

Message #2:

Hey bloodsucker this is Sam, what the beep did you do to my fiance?!?!!?!?!! she is acting like a freakin chicken!?!?!?! you'd better have a good reason for this or so help me....beep

Message #3:

But senpai Tobi no wanna call this strange man, Tobi a good boy, Charslie-san doesn't use botox, oh wait the message thingy is on......ummmmm tobi regret nothing!!!!!!!

Message #4:

Hello I shaved my cat and now I'm a little bit freaked out.....oops wrong number sorry sorry!!!

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Text #1:

Hey wats up Charslie my main squeeze, so have you broke up with your wife yet? oops thats my girlfriend Sally, g2g

text #2:

Yo wats up dis is Naruto comin at u live with some info bout the hospital dat u be workin in.......it's on fire dawg! peace out

text #3:

Hey this is Beyonce and I love you!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Bye!

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Random Message: Daisy daisy sour cream, freash and tasty naturally, a dip for you and a dollop for me daisy goes well with family. So do a dollop do do a dollop with daisy!

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Kumi: DAISY SOUR CREAM!!!!!!!!!!!!! -have officially lost her mind-

R&R


	4. Jingle Bells

Twilight calls and txts

Kumi: thanx 4 all the reviews ppl, cookies and chocolate milk 2 all Bella's is up nxt!!!!

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Bella's Machine

_hey this is Bells, I'm like totally not home right now or I'm out working at that new club that opened up last week or I'm out with James.......don't tell Edward about this ok? BYES!!!!! beep_

Message #1:

Hey Bella this is Carlslie, I got your message about Edward,the solution to your problem is to not let him listen to Micheal Jackson any more. Well I hope that helped bye.

Message #2:

Hey Bells, it's Jake.....I was wondering if maybe we could go to the beach sometime..you know like friends so call me back k? Bye

Message #3:

WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE......TOBI GOOD BOY!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OOPS....WRONG NUMBER.

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Text #1:

WTF is u doin with my candy?


End file.
